July 2, 2010

Just Marking the Hours

Filed under: Change — Chantelle @ 10:39 am

I’d like to stary by saying that I have a lot of topics to write about. Unfortunately, I feel that one of the most important parts about writing a blog – almost equally important to a good subject – is pictures. Especially when you are referring to topics such as those I wish to write about.

But that doesn’t mean I have nothing else to say.

What did you do for Canada day?

Gilles and I went to a concert the night of the 30th, then out to a friend’s place for awhile. I think it was around 2:30 when we rolled into bed.

Then we slept in the next morning… sort of.

We slept later than we would have if we had been going to work, but thanks to the Canada Day holiday there was no work. But Gilles set his alarm, and when it went off he got up and started packing.

See, I am going to my hometown this weekend, where I will meet up with my mom and Mémère. So, rather than spend the weekend in Saskatoon alone, Gilles decided to go visit his cousin in Winnipeg. For the record: I have no problem with this.

But this left me to my own devices for Canada day. Every single friend that I have in the fair city of Saskatoon had left the city early to spend an extra long weekend here, there and everywhere else.

So be it. I left the apartment around noon, determined to keep myself entertained.

First, I patrolled the city and hit up a couple of garage sales. I didn’t find anythingthat I particularily wanted however, and I was getting hungry. So I drove downtown,and decided to try a new restaurant. I decided to try eating at Asian Taste, which is right next to New Island Sushi on 3rd. It was immediately obvious when I entered the restaurant that they were struggling to stay afloat. The cushions on the chairs were worn out and faded, and the only people eating in the restaurant were the family members of the owner. There was a buffet on, but all the dishes were covered to keep the heat in and the flies out. I decided to try the buffet, however.

It was immediately evident once I started browsing the food that this was not a Chinese or Japanese restaurant as I expected, but an Indian restaurant. Every dish smelled very strongly of curry.

Finally I chose three dishes – spiced rice, curried chicken (bone-in), and curried meatballs. The owner brought out a piece of hot corn bread for me.

The corn bread was my favourite part of the meal. Despite the initial revulsion I felt when I first viewed the food, it wasn’t bad. After awhile, the owner came out to the front and sat down and talked to me. (I had been reading, but didn’t mind the distraction from my solitude). He asked me first about my reading, saying that it was very hard to learn to read English. Then he asked me about where I worked, and so on. He then asked me about my tattoo. A tiny corner of it was peeking through the back of my shirt, and he was interested in it. I showed him the rest, and he asked what it said. He seemed to be quite impressed by it.

He kept offering different dishes to me, even though I had alreadypaid for my meal. He even brought me a ‘special’ dessertfrom the back to try – milk balls, I think he called it. It was quite good, but also quite sweet. I think I drank a total of a litre of water while I was there. When I left, he made an interesting comment. I told him that I would tell people about the restaurant and try to drum up some business for him. In response, he said “Okay, and if youcall in for delivery, tell me what your tattoo says and I’ll give you a 30% discount”. Funny way of doing business!

Anyway, after that I went and checked out the flea market at Diefenbaker Park, but it was targeted more toward young families and didn’t keep my interest long. I decided that I was going to go see a movie.

I went to see Eclipse, of the Twilight series. (Yes, I know. Lame. Twihard. Childish. But I can’t help it, while the author’s writing is attrocious, the story draws you in). Eclipse was by far the best movie so far. It was kind of weird to go to a movie by myself though.

Finally, I headed back to the apartment. I cleaned, and I cleaned, and I cleaned. I cleaned until 10:30 at night, when I decided that I had better shower and get to bed so I wouldn’t be half dead for work the next day. Yeah. I skipped the fireworks to clean. 

The reason why I am telling you all this is to illustrate a point. I am used to being in the companionship of others, at all times. If Gilles is gone, I rely on friends to keep my company.

A couple years ago, I was used to solitude. I would go days saying only what I had to to others, focusing only on work and school. I can’t do that anymore. One day by myself, I can handle. But by the end of the day, I was getting lonely.

Gilles recently informed me that there is a chance that he will have to move to Yorkton mid-July, to a worksite there. That means that he would be gone for most of July, and all of August. Then in September he is moving to Moose Jaw for two months to go to school. I am used to having him there when I wake up in the morning, saying goodby to him when I leave for work. I am used to him getting home fromwork shortly after me, and being around all evening.  I would still see him on weekends if all of this happens, but I would be left to my own devices during the week.

I am torn. Does this mean that I have to learn to accept solitude again, or does this mean that I should spend more time with my friends? Even though I spent most of my day yesterday in crowds, I was still by myself. I don’t know if I’m ready to be alone in a crowd for nearly four months. It may not happen, but even if he does not get sent to Yorkton, he will still be in Moose Jaw for two months for sure, and the weekends he will be in Saskatoon will consist of him being involved in his schoolwork. Granted, I will likely be just as involved in my own. But the question remains.





    (deep breath)

    What I am trying to say is… you need to consider the fact(s) that…
    1) You will be living semi-officially on your own for the first time (right?)
    2) You still have your friends and family here.
    3) Gilles is not gone forever, believe me when I say in Casablanca-style: I think you’re stuck with him sweetheart… (I really wanna watch it again…)
    4) Use this as a time to get to know yourself without him so you can have an even greater understanding of your life and relationship.
    5) (Yes, I’m long-winded sometimes) Books and movies can be friends when you’re lonely too.

    Take it from someone who spend her first 2 years up in this crazy city by herself (there were ‘friends’ but not really). You learn (sadly) to adapt to what life throws at you.

    You are one of the strongest people I know. Hell, you’re teaching me to be stronger.

    Look at this situation as a something that will only make you an even stronger person than you already are.

    And I’m sorry I left you alone on Canada Day, I wish I could have been here… We should have stayed with Nolan being so hungover…. It was quite hilarious…. “Turn off the goddamm lights, kitty!!! Kella stop meowing! My head hurts! My stomach hurts!” You would have laughed your butt off at him…

    And if you ever get too lonely I’ll lend you Kella for a day or so since you’re the only one of my friends/family who she lets pet her… (seriously, not even my parents or Nolan’s family, she’s a priss!)

    Comment by crowseer — July 7, 2010 @ 10:56 am | Reply

    • LMAO – Why oh why oh why did you not tell me that Nolan was hungover and not take pictures and send them to me? Haha okay, I’m mean. But seriously, was he even drunk???

      In terms of the ‘learning to be alone’ thing, I know that I don’t have to learn to be completely alone. I can be melodramatic sometimes (like you don’t know that). It’s just that marking the hours where it can be totally inappropriate to call up friends and family.. (Ex. 3am – “Hi. Elsie? Were you sleeping? Oh. No, it’s not important. I just couldn’t sleep and I was bored, and there’s nobody here to talk to, and…”)

      .. can become tedious as a… what am I? … a former insomniac who’s “cure” happens to be the presence of her boyfriend… who goes back into full blown insomnia and sleep 3-4 hours/night when he’s not here.

      Yeah. I know, I’m being melodramatic. My imagination shitballs any sense of limits. (Did I just use shitballs in a sentence??)

      Thank-you for calling me strong. I like that. And apologies in advance if you get sick of me calling you every night to hang out for all of September and October…

      ((Oh an by the way, I had to come back and edit this afterward to say that – he leaves for two months of every year, and the first two years (if you include the first time I dated him) of our relationship was long distance – that’s half the time I’ve been with him. I understand who I am without him… and know that he is a big part of keeping me sane a lot of the time too.))

      Comment by spydermunky — July 7, 2010 @ 2:51 pm | Reply

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